girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
