Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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