i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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