I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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