There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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