i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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