singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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