Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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