just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
