nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My vagina is officially offended.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
