quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
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