I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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