Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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