So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Too much gin, very little bucket
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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