I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
