I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize