Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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