just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
