Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize