Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
