no, he came in my armpit
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
