So drunk its hurt
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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