Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
