I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
