I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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