he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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