I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
