How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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