he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize