I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
