So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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