I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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