I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize