Apparently you make a good broom.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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