all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
