Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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