Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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