If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
