It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I touched a dick in church today
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
