I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
