he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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