Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
