thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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