He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
