I wish I could punch you in the face.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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