I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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