Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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