She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
