i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
And then he peed in my hair
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