Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
