he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
