I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize