4 words: hood of his car
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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