is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
even my farts smell like vagina
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My vagina just clenched in fear
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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