I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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