could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I did not marry a roomba.
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