Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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