cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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