I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
