I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My dad just said "fuck circus"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
