but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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