It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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