Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
