Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
