ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize