chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
