Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
