I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just forgot I was standing up.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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