the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize