I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
