my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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