Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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