69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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