the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
