You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
