GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
