I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I touched a dick in church today
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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