fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
