So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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