So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
