so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
