I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
