did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
